Clyde the Unsecret
by balfies
Summary: Luke is coming for a surprise visit. Clyde's desperately bad secret-keeping skills are kept at bay by Rani, but her intentions are misinterpreted. Rani/Clyde.


**My first SJA fic so be nice!**

**That's usually what people say at the beginning of a story, yeah? Something meaningless like that?**

**Anyway I do not own any of the characters etc. (what'd happen if I didn't say that? Would you think I was Russell T Davies? Ooh, what if he had a fanfiction account and no one knew about it? Okay, imagination running wild now, I'll stop)**

**Remember: every rate or review saves a unicorn's life!)**

Rani tried in vain to blink away her weariness, but it wasn't budging. She gave up. English homework could wait for another day.

Rani collapsed onto her bed and groaned. Not only was she swamped with uninteresting homework she was too tired to do, but all had been quiet on the alien front for a while. It always seemed to work that way: aliens at the end of the year – especially Christmas, aliens always attacked on Christmas without fail – and then silence for a month or two. As if they were gathering their plans together in an evil board meeting for intergalactic misdemeanour. Life without aliens was definitely more boring, Rani had decided, despite the fact that life with aliens meant her life was in much more danger. At least she wasn't working for UNIT or Torchwood: the aliens they dealt with were far more violent and sinister than the ones Mr Smith picked up. She wondered whether Sarah Jane had given the Xylok instructions to pass on more hostile aliens to Torchwood for the safety of the Bannerman Road crew, but that didn't sound like Sarah Jane very much. Perhaps someone was looking out for them, writing their lives out so they got the aliens they could defeat without guns.

A beeping noise emitted from her pillow. Upon further investigation, Rani discovered her phone had made its way there, and was displaying a text message from Luke.

HEY, DON'T TELL MUM BUT I'M COMING HOME FROM UNI 4 A SURPRISE. C U 6.30! -LUKE.

That'd bring the aliens: a visit from Luke. Stuff seemed to happen when he was around, probably because there aren't many teenagers with an IQ comparable to an encyclopaedia.

If Luke had sent her a text, he'd probably have told Clyde as well. It occurred to Rani that Clyde wasn't especially brilliant at keeping secrets, so she headed over to Sarah Jane's to make sure he didn't spill the beans.

"Sarah Jane?" Rani called from the hallway. She tapped the framed photo of her, Luke and Clyde on the side table, smiling at the memory.

"We're up here, in the attic!" came the reply.

Rani walked up the staircase slowly, quickly looking into Luke's room to see if it was fit for living in when he arrived. Satisfied with the folded up sheets on the bed, she ran the rest of the way up the stairs.

Rani entered the attic to find Clyde drawing on the couch and Sarah Jane in front of Mr Smith. Sarah Jane waved a hello without turning away from the super computer, who was in the middle of a complicated procedure.

"Hey Rani," Clyde said as he made room for her on the couch.

"Did you get the text from Luke?" she whispered.

"No. What text?" he questioned. "And why are we whispering?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you then. Never mind," Rani replied. Luke had obviously had the same thought as her: Clyde's secret-keeping skills were very, very bad.

"What text? What did it say?" he asked her.

"Shhh," she said, putting her finger to her lips.

Clyde looked a bit hurt that Rani had brushed the subject of Luke's text away, but he shook his head and continued his drawing. It was probably nothing.

"What's Mr Smith doing?" Rani asked, addressing Sarah Jane.

"He's doing a check on all systems. It just doesn't seem right that there are no aliens around, and I was concerned if there's anything he's missed," Sarah Jane answered.

"I've been wondering about that," said Rani. "Does this happen all the time? Do we normally get a mad rush of alien activity from October to December and then there's near silence for the rest of the year?"

"That's what seems to happen to us at least. I hear Torchwood gets it too: sporadic periods of time when aliens invade and then leave them alone after a few months," Sarah Jane said. "It's a little off-putting. If they're going to attack, they could at least have the consistency to attack all-year round."

Rani smiled.

"What did Luke say?" Clyde whispered to Rani. He was doing a bad job of not looking hurt by her refusal to tell him about the text. It occurred to Rani that Clyde could have misread her secrecy as hostility.

"It's a secret until later on," she said. "You'll know what it is then."

Clyde looked at her for a few seconds as if he was trying to read her mind. Was Luke's text message going to change the dynamics of the group? Would he become a third wheel? So far Rani's body language was giving that message off, but girls made no sense to him.

Rani turned to Mr Smith to avoid Clyde's weird stare.

"So, Sarah Jane. Any news from Luke?" said Clyde loudly, still looking at Rani.

"No, nothing since last week," she replied nonchalantly. "But I'm sure he's doing just fine at university."

"What did he say last week? Any news?" implored Clyde.

Rani was beginning to suspect Clyde had seriously misinterpreted her.

Sarah Jane hadn't been following the discourse between Clyde and Rani; Mr Smith's programme was still running, red and green lines criss-crossing the sound networks of the world as he triple-checked his database for anything he might have missed.

"Clyde, whatever you think the text from Luke was about, it's not that. He's coming over later today to surprise Sarah Jane, and we wanted to keep it a secret," Rani said.

Something clicked inside Clyde's head, then he brightened at the news, as if a cloud that had been resting on his face had passed. Then he frowned.

"Why didn't you tell me? I can keep a secret!"

"Clyde, you can keep a secret like Luke can fail a test. So don't mention Luke this afternoon, okay?"

"You don't have any faith in my secret-keeping skils!" Clyde said indignantly.

"Of course I don't you muppet, your secret-keeping skills are non-existent."

"I bet you that I can sit up here until Luke comes and not mention him to Sarah Jane."

"Ha. Sure. We'll see about that," said Rani, rolling her eyes. "How much do you want to bet?"

"If I succeed…"

"Which you won't," interrupted Rani.

Clyde cleared his throat sharply.

"If I succeed, you have to answer one question truthfully," he said.

Rani raised an eyebrow at his request but carried on regardless.

"And if you fail, Clyde, you have to…." she racked her brain for something good. "You have to do all of your homework for a week and turn up for classes five minutes early, no matter how much you think it will spoil your image."

"Rani!"

"Furthermore, failure to do so results in a penalty of £3 from your wallet to mine."

Clyde sighed.

"Deal?" Rani offered her hand to him.

"Deal," he replied resignedly. There was no point in arguing the matter – Rani could tear him apart in an argument very easily.

After another half hour or so, Mr Smith finished his system check.

"Sarah Jane," he said coolly. "I have nothing to report on the matter."

"Thankyou, Mr Smith," she replied.

Sarah Jane turned away from the xylok. Should she ask K9? No.

"Maybe I just need to accept that the aliens are giving us a holiday," she said to Rani and Clyde.

"Why would they give us a break from alien fighting at this time of year?" asked Clyde. "There's nothing good on TV. The aliens always come when the best shows are on."

"At least we get extra time to study for exams," said Rani. "It probably wouldn't matter as much for Luke – he hardly needed to study for his exams at all when he was back here, remember?"

Clyde looked at Rani. She was grinning. He knew she was going to do whatever it took for him to lose the bet. He'd have to anticipate her move and steer the conversation away from Luke-related topics if he wanted to win.

Rani was impressed: no matter how many times she directed the conversation towards Luke, Clyde deflected it.

Finally, it was 6.30: the time of Luke's arrival.

"Sarah Jane," said Mr Smith, interrupting the conversation (which was probably just as well because Clyde was on the verge of a very bad joke).

"Yes, Mr Smith?"

"A car has just pulled up in the driveway," he informed her in his cool tone.

"Who could that be I wonder?" Sarah Jane muttered as she got up to answer the door.

Clyde looked at Rani when Sarah Jane left the room.

"Go on. I know you want to," she said despairingly.

Clyde celebrated his triumph with a 10 second victory dance while Rani rolled her eyes.

"I won the bet, now I get to ask you a question!" he said enthusiastically.

"Okay, go. Ask and I shall answer truthfully," said Rani.

"Okay… do yo-."

At that moment Luke entered the attic with an excited Sarah Jane following him.

"Hey, Lukey-boy! Those aliens give you any trouble up at uni?"

Luke laughed as Clyde hugged him a hello.

"Luke!" Rani shouted. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed him.

"Hey Rani," he said, hugging her.

Clyde watched their embrace suspiciously.

"Did you two know Luke was visiting?" asked Sarah Jane.

"Well, Rani did," said Luke.

"Actually, I knew as well," said Clyde. "I conned Rani into telling me."

Luke raised an eyebrow at Rani.

"He looked so pathetic not knowing, I had to tell him!" she said.

Clyde shoved Rani playfully. She stuck her tongue out in return.

After having an impromptu hooray-Luke's-home-let's-gorge dinner, Clyde and Rani bid Sarah Jane and Luke goodnight and set off home.

"You haven't answered my question yet, Rani," Clyde said.

"You haven't asked it yet."

"Rani…"

Clyde stopped walking outside Rani's house and paused, as if looking for the right words. Rani turned around to face him.

"Rani, do you like Luke?"

"No. Not at all. No. No! God no! No."

Clyde gave her a look.

"He's my friend. But no. God, no."

"Okay," Clyde said. He seemed satisfied with her answer.

There was a silence between them for a minute, where they both stared at their feet. It was nice knowing they could be awkward together.

"Can I ask another question?" Clyde said.

"I have a feeling you're going to."

"Do you like anyone else?"

Rani closed her eyes wearily.

"Yes. Well, kind of. Yes."

"Oh. Who?"

"Clyde, you've asked double the number of questions you were originally allowed to, I'm not about to tell you," Rani said.

There followed a silence that was very, very loud. They both realised how close together they were.

"Goodnight, Rani," Clyde said, kissing her on the cheek.

Clyde promptly turned on his heels and walked home. Rani hurried inside, a blush creeping up her neck.

From his bedroom window, Luke closed his curtains on the scene. When were they going to accept the obvious?


End file.
